My 30-Day Social Media Detox
By the time this article has been posted, I will have just completed my most recent 30-day social media detox. The rules of a social media detox are fairly simple. This is when you don’t check or have any interaction with any social media platforms for 30 days. This means no Instagram, no Facebook, no Twitter, & no Snapchat for the next 30 days! Now, I probably could have been more severe by cutting off YouTube from my digital diet, but I didn’t (oh well).
I completed my first social media detox about a year ago. I was feeling the pressure of school work, landing an amazing internship, and getting over a breakup. The constant comparison and constant connection were only making things worse, so I felt like I needed to take a break.
Through both detoxes, the goal was quite simple. Eliminate all outside distractions and the constant connection to focus on myself and my own mental health. During this most recent detox, I kept a journal where I jotted down my thoughts each day regarding my relationship with social media and any thoughts I had about social media in general. There are 4 big lessons that I’ve taken away from this experience so let’s go ahead and dive into them.
1) Social Media is NOT Reality
I know what you’re probably thinking, “Thanks Captain Obvious!”. On the surface, it may seem like I’m making an obvious statement, but this is something we all consciously or subconsciously struggle with regardless.
The thing with social media is that it’s a highlight reel. We all post the things that we want other people to see to craft this picture-perfect persona to the rest of the world. However, there’s a trap that we fall into by doing this. We post our own highlights, but we compare our lowlights to other people’s highlights.
Think about it, when we’re scrolling through social media, it’s often at times when we have nothing else going on. We’re sitting on the couch, eating lunch at work, or lying in bed. Suddenly, we come across a picture of a friend on a beach in the Cayman Islands, we see a bitcoin billionaire flashing his new sports car, or someone posting about their graduation from Harvard Law School.
All of these are amazing accomplishments, but instead of feeling happy for these people, you end up casting the mirror back on yourself. You compare the flaws that you have with the flawless personas you’re viewing on the internet. We all have our own problems and insecurities, they’re just not what we cast out for the rest of the world to see.
2) FOMO is Real
For those of you who have never heard of the acronym ‘FOMO’, it stands for ‘Fear of Missing Out’. FOMO can be loosely defined as that nervous or anxious feeling you get when you know there’s an event going on that you were either not invited to or just didn’t feel like going. It’s a feeling that people just can’t seem to shake and it can certainly affect your well-being.
For instance, when I’m out and about in Charlotte, let’s say I’m going to grab a drink with a couple of friends at a bar that we regularly go to. I’m at the bar and we’re cutting jokes, talking about work, and having a good time. Then, I feel a hint of boredom going on between conversations so I pull out my digital pacifier to scroll through Instagram. That’s when I see my other friend at a different bar and that bar is packed, there’s loud music, and everyone is dancing like it’s going out of style.
All of a sudden, I feel like my experience is somehow less exciting and that I would certainly have a better time at that other bar. This is FOMO in a nutshell. It’s this perception that you’d have a better time elsewhere while simultaneously ruining the experience you’re having right now!
I can tell you first hand, without social media, that feeling slowly fades. The first few days without social media, it feels like something super important is happening online and you’re the only one on the planet who’s missing it. However, the reality is that you’re not missing out on anything. When you eliminate the ability for FOMO to affect your life, you eliminate FOMO. As the age-old adage goes, “What you don’t know won’t hurt you”.
3) More Connection = Less Connection
The idea that more connection means less connection might sound like an oxymoron, and it is. The very existence of social media is due to the fact that as a society it keeps us more connected. As long as you have a social media account, you can connect with anyone all over the world, pretty awesome right! However, there’s a clear downside to this constant connection, so allow me to explain.
As a Gen Z myself, I know all about Snapchat streaks, retweeting tweets, and commenting something sarcastic on your friend’s Instagram post. Social media allows us to get constant up to date information regarding the lives of each and every one of our followers. Although you may always feel connected to everyone and everything, we fail to realize that we are neglecting the most meaningful connections of all, the people right in front of us.
Tell me you’ve seen this before. Two friends decide they want to go out to eat together. They meet up and exchange a few welcome words before sitting down to decide on what they want to eat. Then, the all-too-common occurrence, both friends pull out their phones and then begin mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, seeing if there’s any funny tweets, or sending a snapchat to someone tens of miles away. What’s wrong with this picture?
What’s wrong with this picture is that we’re neglecting the people right in front of our face! We need to focus on taking advantage of those times we have with friends and family because this life is too short for superficial connections. This is exactly why more connection in the digital world, can mean less connection in the real world.
4) We Conflate Likes & Followers with Value
Social media has essentially turned into one large modern popularity contest. Back in the day, popularity was subjective based on who you asked and who you hung out with. The difference now is that we have concrete numbers with which to determine our popularity. The number of followers you have, the number of likes you get, and the ratio of people following you to you following them all count in this superficial world of social media popularity.
I’m certainly a victim of this as I’m sure some of you are too. When I was in middle school and high school, I used to worry about the photo that I posted, when I should post it, and what type of filter I used. All of this was a way for me to try and garner as much attention as possible and get as many likes as possible. We all love attention and social media has just amplified that 100x over because now you don’t even have to get out of bed to get it!
Conflating the number of likes you receive and followers you have with value is a never-ending game that will only leave you feeling miserable. It’s a rat race that only leaves you wanting more and more, always asking “Now what?”. I encourage you to focus on yourself and becoming the type of person that you want to be, not the type of person that you think other people want you to be.
We Need to Rethink Social Media
Social media is a tool that was created to do good in the world and connect people like never before. Its origins have good intentions and it’s evolved into something far greater than any of us could even imagine. However, the repercussions of this technology are still being discovered as social media is constantly adapting itself to maintain more and more of its user’s attention.
We must rethink the role that social media plays in our lives. It should not be a replacement for meeting up with your friends, it should be an aid in helping you connect with friends from the past. It should not be a replacement for talking with family, but rather a way to coordinate a place to meetup. We can all benefit from a little less screen time and a little more face time (no pun intended). I encourage all of you to try the social media detox out for yourselves and see how it impacts your life!
If you’re new here, head on over to my blog page and check out my article where I outline my inspiration for the Mindful Zoomer, as well as what you can expect from the site moving forward. Don’t forget to leave a comment down below with your thoughts regarding the article, lessons, or social media in general. Lastly, if you want to reach me directly, head on over to my contact page where you can follow me on any of my social media accounts (ironic?), send me an email, or shoot me a message. Stay mindful!
