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Ever since college, I’ve been intrigued by Stoicism as a philosophy and way of life. When I was in the throes of my college blues, I stumbled upon this ancient topic, thanks to Ryan Holiday. For those who don’t know, Ryan Holiday is a writer and media strategist most known for spreading the good word of Stoicism. He’s written world-famous books (many of which I’ve read), such as The Obstacle is the Way, Ego is the Enemy, and The Daily Stoic. I highly recommend you read them, as they’re full of valuable tips and lessons that will improve your outlook on life.
Nevertheless, with my newfound curiosity, I began to research. I wanted to learn everything I could about Stoicism and what it was. My life became scouring the internet for articles, buying books, and watching as much Ryan Holiday content as one man could handle. After tirelessly investigating, I believe Stoicism’s aim can be summed up in five small words.
“To Live The Good Life”
Stoicism lays out principles and values to uphold to achieve this aim. In this article, I will share four Stoic principles you can follow to ensure you’re living the good life.
Control What You Can Control
“We should always be asking ourselves: ‘Is this something that is, or is not, in my control?’” – Epictetus
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Have you ever been frustrated that your flight got delayed due to bad weather? Are you ever irritated when caught in traffic on your way home from work? Are you angry when your favorite sports team doesn’t win? If you’re human, I assume your answer to these questions is yes. However, amid your emotional meltdown, you fail to sit back and realize one crucial factor.
None of these events are within our control.
By allowing these events to have their way with your emotions, you’re expending energy that could be better used elsewhere. You can’t control when mother nature decides it’s time for a thunderstorm, a traffic jam appears, or Ohio State misses the field goal to go to the National Championship (pain).
The Stoics believed that expending negative energy on things outside our control was a waste. You can’t control when certain events happen to you. Still, you can certainly control how you respond to those events by quelling your emotions and being decisive with how you respond.
Anticipate Difficulties
“Things will get thrown at you and things will hit you. Life is no soft affair.” – Seneca
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The timeless adage, “life isn’t fair,” becomes more truthful as you age. As a child, your parents do their best to shield you from the outside world and ensure you’re happy and healthy. The world throughout childhood seems to be sunshine and rainbows. Then, the inevitable happens… you grow up.
As each year passes, you begin to take on more and more responsibility. You get your license and start driving a car. Next, you must get good grades to graduate high school and attend college. Then, you’re supposed to get even better grades to obtain your degree. Finally, you need to find a job to make money to survive.
All along the way, you’re thinking about how the difficulties never seem to disappear.
Rather than fighting against this truth, accept it. The Stoics believed not in the running away from difficulties to make life easier but in anticipating those difficulties and taking them head-on.
Have you ever been nervous about a job interview or asking someone out and imagined the worst-case scenario, but it was nowhere near as bad as you expected? That’s precisely it. If you anticipate the difficulties ahead, the reality of the situation will pale in comparison, and you’ll be able to handle it much better.
Amor Fati
“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” – Marcus Aurelius
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Amor Fati is a Latin phrase meaning “Love of one’s fate.” This phrase is often associated with Stoicism, and for a good reason.
How often in your life do you play the victim? You didn’t land your dream job out of college and felt sorry for yourself. You expected to get a promotion but were passed up for someone else. Often, things don’t go your way, and it’s as if life is out to destroy you.
Rather than mope, complain, or wallow in pity due to your unfortunate circumstances, the Stoics believed in embracing your misfortune. Amor Fati means accepting one’s fate and loving one’s fate, good or bad. Shift your mindset to feeling that everything happens for a reason and that bad situations ultimately have good intentions.
Live Here And Now
“True happiness is… to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.” – Seneca
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The human brain is a truly fantastic thing. If our minds aren’t hard at work, we’re subconsciously thinking about how we can be doing something somewhere else. Recently, scientists have discovered something within our minds called the default network. This network is what allows us to transcend throughout our daily lives. When we’re not focused on any particular task, the network enables us to imagine being in a different time, place, or world.
Although you can’t override human nature completely, you’re conscious that your brain doesn’t want you to be mindful. The problem with constant futuristic thinking is that anxiety lurks in the shadows. You’re anxious because the future is unpredictable. Thus you don’t know what will happen, where you’ll be, or who you’ll be. The answer to quelling these anxieties is to live in the here and now.
The Stoics believed in the idea of mindfulness. This is the idea that we are more present in our everyday lives, constantly re-gathering our thoughts to think only about what we’re doing at that very millisecond. For instance, your mind may drift (as mine often does) when driving. Driving becomes second nature if you’ve been doing it long enough, and the default network kicks in.
One way I like to practice mindfulness when driving is to feel what’s happening. I’m consciously thinking about how the steering wheel feels, how the A/C feels, and what the seat feels like as I sit there. This is one of the many ways to practice mindfulness daily.
The great thing about Stoicism is that I’ve only scratched the surface by outlining these principles. The Stoics practiced many others, but I felt the four above were the most important. Let’s recap:
- Control what you can control. Our emotions and energy are overtaken by events out of our control. We’re upset when we get caught in traffic, our flight gets delayed, or our favorite sports team doesn’t win. Re-direct your mental and emotional energy toward things within your control.
- Anticipate difficulties. Life gets more and more difficult as time passes. Rather than imagining our lives as easy, anticipate that life isn’t fair and you will face hardships. By being proactive, you’ll soften the landing for when tough times come to fruition.
- Amor Fati. Love your fate. Instead of feeling victimized by life, embrace the unfortunate circumstances bestowed upon you. Life will not go your way, so do not mope, complain, or wallow in pity, but love what has happened and believe that bad events have good intentions.
- Be more mindful in your daily life. Live here and now. The default network in our brains forces us to transcend the current moment and think about how we can be in a different place at another time. Consciously hijack that network and feel what is happening in this moment, second, and millisecond to quell your anxieties about the future.
I hope you’ll take what you’ve learned from this article into the real world so you may live the good life.
Stay Mindful!
