Feeling behind in life is something I’ve been struggling with for the last several years. In high school, I felt behind because I didn’t know what I wanted to study in college. In college, I felt behind because my grades weren’t as good as other people’s, and I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do after I graduated. Now, I feel behind because I see other people on more fulfilling and lucrative career paths. Every day, I wake up and feel like I’m running a race with life, and I’m about to get lapped.
In my opinion, I don’t think the feeling of lagging in life ever goes away. Eventually, we learn to manage it or let it consume us. Over the past few years, I researched and studied ways to counter this feeling of being behind in life. Through this article, I’ll share three concepts I’ve found that will remind you that you’re on the right track.
Social Media Skews Reality
As someone who spends more time than he would like on his phone, I understand social media’s impact on our perception.
Tell me if this sounds familiar.
You open your phone, and you’re scrolling your Instagram feed. While you’re sitting on the couch, at work, or lying in bed, your feed is consumed by people in luxurious destinations flashing high-ticket items. You ask yourself, “Why must my life be so boring?” soon, comparison has stolen the joy you once had and you feel envy over the fact that everyone else’s life is so much better than yours.
Too often, social media encourages us to wish we were living different lives.
We all seem to forget that social media is a highlight reel. Nobody makes a post when their pet just died, their significant other broke up with them, or they lost their job. We only post the most incredible moments of our lives. Whether we like to admit it or not, our social media posts are crafted so that other people will perceive us in a different light than how we are.
Comparing your life to the “lives” of other people on social media can cause you to feel behind. The next time you’re doom-scrolling, wishing you could swap your life with someone else, remember that social media is skewing your reality.
Your Twenties are a Learning Experience
One of the things that’s been hard to come to terms with personally is that your twenties are a learning experience. For most of our teenage years, we’re forced to have the answers to make big decisions that shape our futures. In high school, we’re forced to have the answers to get good grades to graduate (and go to college if we choose to do so). If we decide to go to college, we’re forced to have an answer for what we will study when there are many different things we haven’t even tried. After college, we’re supposed to have the answer to what we want to do with our lives. Where do we want to work? What do we want to do? Where do we want to live? All these questions need answers when you’re in your late teens and early twenties.
The hardest thing to grasp is that even after entering the real world, we still feel like there’s so much left to learn. We liked our jobs but got tired and wanted to try something else. We like the city we live in, but we also feel like somewhere else out there is more exciting and fulfilling. So many things are uncertain and constantly evolving that we feel distraught because we don’t have the answers for the rest of our lives.
Our twenties are a time for figuring out what we like, who we are, and whom we want to be. Rather than beat ourselves up over not knowing the answers, enjoy the process of finding those answers. Spend time doing different things, find out what you like to do, and never stop expanding your horizons.
Photo by Matthew Ball on Unsplash
There’s Always Time
The final concept you should leave this article with is remember that you have time. While our purpose in this world may not be crystal clear, there are countless examples of people finding their calling later in life. Colonel Sanders didn’t create KFC until he was 65. Ray Kroc founded McDonald’s when he was 52. Martha Stewart published her first magazine when she was 50. These are just a few of many who didn’t let time anxiety stop them from fulfilling their dreams.
Also, who’s to say when you should have accomplished something? We often place an undue burden on ourselves to achieve our goals faster than everyone else. This is where the comparison comes in again. We must understand that we set our own goals and timelines based on our situations. Measuring your success versus someone else’s is like comparing apples to oranges. We all have unique traits, backgrounds, and conditions that make us different.
Remember, you are the only one setting the barometer for success.
Feeling behind in life can be debilitating. We struggle to attain the motivation to achieve our goals because we get knocked down by the fact that someone else has already achieved what we’re trying to achieve. However, when these feelings arise, we must remember what we’ve just learned.
Social media skews our reality. Spending days on end consuming content only for it to make you feel worse about your situation is counterproductive. Instead, remind yourself that social media is a highlight reel. We all post the most significant moments of our lives to persuade others to perceive us as awesome.
Your twenties are a learning experience. In our teens and early twenties, we’re forced to have all the answers. Know the answers in high school, so you get good grades to graduate. Know what you want to study in college even though there are so many things you haven’t explored yet. Lastly, know the job you want so you can achieve financial stability and fulfillment. In your twenties, having the answers is not the goal; the goal is to learn as much as possible about yourself.
Lastly, remember that you have time. Some of the most successful people in the world didn’t find their calling until later on in their lives. We are the only people in control of our timelines, so don’t judge others’ success against your own.
